The Baby Journals

Guess you’re probably wondering what the sausage is all about.  I promise you’ll get it in a minute.

So, I picked up my medical records yesterday for my appointment with Dr. W on the 25th.  This morning, while killing time before class, I pulled them out to read them. (These are the full records of my surgery from 2005 when I had a ruptured tube from an ectopic pregnancy) Granted, half of the words I didn’t understand – like, salpingectomy and hemoperitoneum.  However, I almost fell out of my chair laughing when I read this:  “The left tube was dilated, looking like a swollen sausage”.  Parts of my organs have been compared to breakfast food.  Nice.  I slightly remember this being said while I was in the hospital back in 2005, but I was so drugged up that it was quite blurred.

Really, though, medical records are quite entertaining.  Get past the fact that I lost all chance of ever getting pregnant the natural way, and there’s actually some funny stuff in there.  He used words like “soft and boggy” to describe my uterus (sorry, is that TMI?) and listed under “General” says “The patient is a pale looking white female in distress (duh) laying on the exam table.  Ha!  I think distress is an understatement.  Try “inches from the edge” or “complete and total panic accompanied by severe, blinding pain”.  Either of those will suffice.  It’s much easier to joke about it now that it’s been two years.  Maybe that’s just the “infertile” way of coping.  Oh, and I’ve adopted a new condition…it’s called “Infertourrettes” and it’s something like regular Tourrettes, but you’re infertile and you just start spouting off TMI about everything fertility oriented.  The word was coined especially for women like me by Erin at The Vicious Cycle of Cycles.  I liked it.

I guess that’s it.  Just needed a bit of comic relief for the end of the week.   Enjoy your weekend!

~Brooke~

At lunch yesterday there was this way pregnant gal with her mom.  The guy in line in front of them starts making baby small talk and he offers up the fact that a friend of his just had her 5th child…after 4 girls, they finally had a boy.  Enter new participant in the conversation (we’ll call her Big Mouth).  She says, “I hope they know now what causes that and stop!”.  Yes, I’m completely serious – she said this without so much as as pause to think before this ignoramus statement escaped.

Later, while sitting down to eat, I couldn’t help but think about this idiotic statement, it reminded me of another situation I had encountered of the same sort a couple of months ago.  This one was much worse.

We were in Subway and there was a family in there with 5 children that all looked very close in age (about 7-9 yrs old).  We chatted with them and it turned out that she had infertility issues at one point and started IVF treatments.  The first time it didn’t work, and the second time they had one healthy boy.  After a little while they decided to try for one more baby to complete their family.  It worked – they had triplets!  About 8 or 9 months after the triplets were born she turned up pregnant naturally.  I tell you their whole story to really let it sink in how thoroughly ridiculous the statement sounded coming from the grandpa looking guy who walked in.  Brace yourself.  He says, “They all yours?” and after a smiling “yes” from the mother, he proceeds to say “I’m really sorry to hear that.”  WHAT?!?  I can’t imagine how she felt – I myself felt like crap on the side of the road for her.  Had he known how much she wanted those 5 kids, and how hard she tried to have them, and how much blood, sweat, and tears (and money) she had put in to get them, do you think he would have said that?!  The kids couldn’t have felt great about the comment either.  They were all old enough to comprehend that the guy felt sorry for their mother for having them.  I think if I had been her I would’ve had to say something along the lines of “I’m not sorry, these are the best things that ever happened to me” just to save the kids the embarrassment and shame that they could have felt after a comment like that one.

Ok, let me backup.  I know that probably sometime in my life I have said something closer to what Big Mouth lady said, and now I am totally sorry if I ever did.  When it’s not so easy to have kids, you get really sensitive to statements people make about children, and how people treat their kids in general.  Even if your man can look at you the right way, and you get pregnant you still love ALL your kids!  Sure, sometimes, they are a complete handful and  you need a break, you still don’t want to hear someone say they are sorry you have to deal with your kids.  Honestly, it hurts to hear. I have a co-worker that has 10 wonderful, well behaved children ranging in age from 17 to infant.  I can’t imagine the comments they must get about their family.  I would never want to say something to make him feel like he and his wife “must be crazy” or “don’t know where they come from”.  Doesn’t that sound silly!  His family is his business – he’s allowed to have as many kids as he wants without being made to feel like a fool.

I’m a big girl, and I can handle most stupid comments from random strangers, but really, think about what comes out of your mouth.  Especially in public places.  You never know who may be standing within earshot of your comments.  You don’t know what people around you have been through, and degrading, judgmental, even in jest comments can be truly hurtful.  Speak positively!

~Brooke~