The Baby Journals

So, yeah.  It’s been a while, huh?  We’ve been so stalled out for so long, that it wasn’t really worth the time to even stop by this little corner of the internet.  But, here I am again, swearing that things will be different this time around.  Life happens whether we want it to or not, and time goes much faster than it seems.  This past weekend marks four years since my last pregnancy loss, and the one that took both of my fallopian tubes.  Seems like only four weeks ago.

Change of direction:  It’s starting to feel like it’s time.  The subject has been coming up more often.  People I wouldn’t expect to talk about it have been talking.  Strangers who’ve been through it have offered us support.  It’s still going to be hard, we still need to save a considerable amount of money.  There’s also the issue of maternity insurance for when we’re all through with the procedure…it’s quite expensive, and doesn’t cover for a full 12 months after it begins.  Still, with all these hurdles, our goal is one year.  Twelve months.  We’re going to do everything we can to see this through and get it done.  Suggestions, support, advice, ideas…they’re more than welcome here.  We won’t be able to do this on our own, that is for sure.

I know that once this is all over, I’ll look back and say “that was the easy part”.

…not much has changed.  We’re not necessarily doing nothing, but we’ve not done much.  We’re seriously considering adoption at this point.  Not that we never want to have kids of our own, but we also know that there are tons of kids in the world that need loving parents.  It feels right to choose a child that needs us as much as we need them.  So, I’ll keep writing here as we continue in our quest for parenthood.  Might not be every day, but I’ll try to do better than every 5 months!

We went to the clinic yesterday. I can’t say that all went as planned, or that it was news we wanted to hear. When we got there we discovered that the tests we were to have done that day did not cost the $800 Dr. W quoted at our first appointment. Turns out, my side of the testing would cost approximately $2000, and Jay’s side would cost about $675. That we were not prepared for. It took everything I had inside not to break down right there in the nurse’s office. So we pretty much just sat there with the IVF Nurse Coordinator, who was wonderful, and talked about our options. Here are a few:

1) Continue saving/raising money (we have almost $3000 in the bank) and just wait until we have enough money to continue. It would be nice to have the entire amount (about $14,000 now) when we start so we would have one less concern while we were going through the process.

2) Nurse E told us some companies that she knew had insurance benefits that covered IVF treatments, one being Ban.k of Americ.a. I could apply for a teller job, work it for the 3-6 month period before I have coverage and then go forward with the process.  I have already sent in my resume to two branches here in town that had part time openings.  If they call me for an interview, I will definitely be interviewing them as much as they are interviewing me.  I guess it’s a good time for change anyway!

3)  This option would be the most appealing to me, but it involves a bit of chance (favor!?).  There is an infertility awareness conference in Jacksonville on November 3rd.  To “give back” to the community, the clinics represented there are giving away 3 free IVF cycles to registered attendees.  I registered the minute I saw that!  I wonder if it’s ok to pray that I win one of them?  I guess it can’t hurt!  If that’s in the plans for me, then let it be!  Obviously, this would be awesome.  I could immediately go forward if this happened, and not only would the first cycle be free (except for the tests above), but if, God forbid, it didn’t work the first time, or I wanted to have another kid later, then the following cycles would be about 1/2 – 1/3 the cost of the first IVF because I would already have frozen embryos ready to transfer.

So, that’s the latest news.  I’d welcome any input or advice you may have to give!  I’ll be sure to keep you updated.

This is a picture of the cost sheet I got from the clinic. Add to that the testing that we’ll be having Wednesday – I’ve been told around $800-$1000. Most of the terms up there are Greek to me at this point, but I’m sure I’ll be quite familiar with them in the very near future. I just wanted to put this up for everyone to see. Sometimes I say how much it costs, and I can hardly believe it myself. I know some may be thinking that there’s no way that this could be so expensive (I know, I think that too sometimes), but here it is in black and white. Very real, very expensive. However, I know that when we have our baby(ies!) it will be worth every single penny.

I’d just ask that if you’re the praying type, please pray specifically that every area above that I need to spend money on will be covered somehow. Some of it already is thanks to our gracious family and friends who’ve invested in our future. I can’t say thanks enough. Also, if you have any creative ideas that we could use to raise funds, please share! Otherwise, we’ll be selling anything that’s not nailed down on eBay ! Anything it takes.

We went to Jacksonville yesterday for our first meeting with Dr. W.  I would say that it went very well.  He was very helpful with making plans, and very informative about the procedure itself.  It was sort of surreal to be sitting there and actually moving toward this long time dream of ours.  It still doesn’t quite feel real yet – I guess when I start having to jab myself with a needle to the stomach for 12-14 days straight, I will wish it didn’t feel so real!

Anyway, Dr. W suggested that we look into getting some type of insurance policy that would at least cover the doctor visits, and maybe the medications.  Believe it or not, if we can get that, it could save us as much as $3000 (the drug companies must be making billions).  Of course we’ll be paying a premium, but it could very well be worth it in the long run.  So, I’m looking into that ASAP so we can go back for our 2nd appointment.

When we go back, we’ll both be undergoing some testing.  He wants to make sure that there is no simple reason that I was losing the other 4 pregnancies before I get pregnant again.  He’ll do some chromosomal testing on us both, a test for clotting factors, and an x-ray to look at my uterus.  This is why he suggested insurance as well.  He was talking about how expensive these tests were, and that insurance would cover them all.  I was thinking in the thousands, so it made me feel good when he said they could be as much as $800!  I’m glad to know he thinks that is expensive.

Also on that visit, Jay will have to do the infamous semen analysis.  I’m sure you can imagine the jokes that were flying all the way home about that one.  My mom was with us and Jay was having too much fun trying to embarrass her!  I said that in the future I would have to put a **WARNING, GRAPHIC CONTENT** on this blog!  I guess that is the nature of reproductive science!

As soon as these tests are done, and we get the “all is well” we can start the IVF process.  It would be great if we could start it in January!  So, please pray that all the tests will come back with normal results, and that we can get a good insurance plan that doesn’t break the bank.  Also pray for the upcoming benefit concert that our friends are putting on for us.  It would be amazing to be able to pay for all of the procedure up front without finances being an extra burden on us.   Right now we’re looking at needing about $10,000.  We had about $1,200 saved up before we started this and we’ve cut into that to pay for yesterday’s appointment, and we’ll be using some of it to get an insurance plan started.

That’s about it – I’ll be sure to keep the updates coming.  Thanks for listening!

~Brooke~