The Baby Journals

We went to the clinic yesterday. I can’t say that all went as planned, or that it was news we wanted to hear. When we got there we discovered that the tests we were to have done that day did not cost the $800 Dr. W quoted at our first appointment. Turns out, my side of the testing would cost approximately $2000, and Jay’s side would cost about $675. That we were not prepared for. It took everything I had inside not to break down right there in the nurse’s office. So we pretty much just sat there with the IVF Nurse Coordinator, who was wonderful, and talked about our options. Here are a few:

1) Continue saving/raising money (we have almost $3000 in the bank) and just wait until we have enough money to continue. It would be nice to have the entire amount (about $14,000 now) when we start so we would have one less concern while we were going through the process.

2) Nurse E told us some companies that she knew had insurance benefits that covered IVF treatments, one being Ban.k of Americ.a. I could apply for a teller job, work it for the 3-6 month period before I have coverage and then go forward with the process.  I have already sent in my resume to two branches here in town that had part time openings.  If they call me for an interview, I will definitely be interviewing them as much as they are interviewing me.  I guess it’s a good time for change anyway!

3)  This option would be the most appealing to me, but it involves a bit of chance (favor!?).  There is an infertility awareness conference in Jacksonville on November 3rd.  To “give back” to the community, the clinics represented there are giving away 3 free IVF cycles to registered attendees.  I registered the minute I saw that!  I wonder if it’s ok to pray that I win one of them?  I guess it can’t hurt!  If that’s in the plans for me, then let it be!  Obviously, this would be awesome.  I could immediately go forward if this happened, and not only would the first cycle be free (except for the tests above), but if, God forbid, it didn’t work the first time, or I wanted to have another kid later, then the following cycles would be about 1/2 – 1/3 the cost of the first IVF because I would already have frozen embryos ready to transfer.

So, that’s the latest news.  I’d welcome any input or advice you may have to give!  I’ll be sure to keep you updated.

We are assuming that you all want to know how the show went on Friday.  I wish we had better words to describe the feeling it gave us, but my friend Chris beat us to it.  Please read his post about the show, and let him know we sent you over.

We really just want to thank everybody that participated and made it a night that we won’t soon forget.  The bands:  Alex Watson, Mckendree Tucker, The Inside Out Band, Family Life Worship Team, and Fred McKinnon & Friends .  You all were amazing.  We enjoyed every second of the music, your talents are vast.  Also, without TJ & Kim Thompson, this event would have never happened.  Thanks for being great friends.

We’re so thankful for everyone that came out and supported us.  It was a great night.

Even though the night was about raising money, it meant so much more than the money to us.  That being said, we know you all want the bottom line…well, we don’t have the completed count yet,  but we came home with $1,469.  There is still pre-show ticket money out there, and as soon as we get the total, I’ll update this post.

We are a little closer to our dream.   Our next step is our “testing” appointment.  We’ll be calling and making that on Monday.  Hopefully, very soon, all of you who promised babysitting services will be able to make good on that promise!

We love you all,
~Jay & Brooke~

 I just ran across this song tonight while searching for the perfect song to go with our pre-show photo slide show.  It is the one.  Every word of this song reaches deep down into my very being.  Tears are flowing just thinking about the words “forever faithful”.  These are words I need to hear, to remind myself often that He is just that.  We are not the only one feeling these feelings.  He has felt them first, and is feeling them with me, and it’s taken some time and sometimes I may feel like I’m falling back into the darkness, but slowly, they are starting to look less like scars…

It’s been a hard year
But I’m climbing out of the rubble
These lessons are hard
Healing changes are subtle
But every day it’s

Less like tearing, more like building
Less like captive, more like willing
Less like breakdown, more like surrender
Less like haunting, more like remember

And I feel you here
And you’re picking up the pieces
Forever faithful
It seemed out of my hands, a bad situation
But you are able
And in your hands the pain and hurt
Look less like scars and more like
Character

Less like a prison, more like my room
It’s less like a casket, more like a womb
Less like dying, more like transcending
Less like fear, less like an ending

And I feel you here
And you’re picking up the pieces
Forever faithful
It seemed out of my hands, a bad situation
But you are able
And in your hands the pain and hurt
Look less like scars

Just a little while ago
I couldn’t feel the power or the hope
I couldn’t cope, I couldn’t feel a thing
Just a little while back
I was desperate, broken, laid out, hoping
You would come

And I need you
And I want you here
And I feel you

And I know you’re here
And you’re picking up the pieces
Forever faithful
It seemed out of my hands, a bad, bad situation
But you are able

And in your hands the pain and hurt
Look less like scars

And more like
Character

 Less Like Scars by Sara Groves