The Baby Journals

So, yeah.  It’s been a while, huh?  We’ve been so stalled out for so long, that it wasn’t really worth the time to even stop by this little corner of the internet.  But, here I am again, swearing that things will be different this time around.  Life happens whether we want it to or not, and time goes much faster than it seems.  This past weekend marks four years since my last pregnancy loss, and the one that took both of my fallopian tubes.  Seems like only four weeks ago.

Change of direction:  It’s starting to feel like it’s time.  The subject has been coming up more often.  People I wouldn’t expect to talk about it have been talking.  Strangers who’ve been through it have offered us support.  It’s still going to be hard, we still need to save a considerable amount of money.  There’s also the issue of maternity insurance for when we’re all through with the procedure…it’s quite expensive, and doesn’t cover for a full 12 months after it begins.  Still, with all these hurdles, our goal is one year.  Twelve months.  We’re going to do everything we can to see this through and get it done.  Suggestions, support, advice, ideas…they’re more than welcome here.  We won’t be able to do this on our own, that is for sure.

I know that once this is all over, I’ll look back and say “that was the easy part”.

That was my ticket number for the free IVF drawing this past weekend. It didn’t prove so lucky for us this time, but the odds were high. The conference, on the other hand, was very informative and answered a lot of questions. It was not a waste of time, although I have to admit, I was really hoping for that free cycle!

After the conference (it was over at 12:30) we had lunch at Longhorn in Jax, then just wandered around the city. Jacksonville Beach was packed. They were having an air and sea show, so the people were out in masses to see the planes flying overhead and the boats in the water. We were planning on eating somewhere by the beach but we couldn’t find a single place to park, so we headed back towards Jax and ended up at the Longhorn. After lunch we went downtown and just took in the sights. We paid $.50 to ride the Jacksonville Sky Way train. That didn’t last long. Check this thing out.

I was totally freaked out being so far up & the turns really felt unstable. I kept getting that “roller-coaster-about-to-drop” feeling in my stomach. Of course, that’s sort of the feeling I have some days about my circumstances in general, but those days end (thank God!). When we finally got off, my legs were so shaky I could hardly make it down the stairs to the car! I was glad that was over. Lastly, we ventured over to The.Jacksonville.Landing. There was a band playing, so we got a fresh fruit smoothie and listened to the music for a while. Then we were homeward bound.

It was a good day all around, but we’re back to the planning board. Next step…job with benefits – most likely Jay will find one instead of me. Y’all pray.

~Brooke~

We went to the clinic yesterday. I can’t say that all went as planned, or that it was news we wanted to hear. When we got there we discovered that the tests we were to have done that day did not cost the $800 Dr. W quoted at our first appointment. Turns out, my side of the testing would cost approximately $2000, and Jay’s side would cost about $675. That we were not prepared for. It took everything I had inside not to break down right there in the nurse’s office. So we pretty much just sat there with the IVF Nurse Coordinator, who was wonderful, and talked about our options. Here are a few:

1) Continue saving/raising money (we have almost $3000 in the bank) and just wait until we have enough money to continue. It would be nice to have the entire amount (about $14,000 now) when we start so we would have one less concern while we were going through the process.

2) Nurse E told us some companies that she knew had insurance benefits that covered IVF treatments, one being Ban.k of Americ.a. I could apply for a teller job, work it for the 3-6 month period before I have coverage and then go forward with the process.  I have already sent in my resume to two branches here in town that had part time openings.  If they call me for an interview, I will definitely be interviewing them as much as they are interviewing me.  I guess it’s a good time for change anyway!

3)  This option would be the most appealing to me, but it involves a bit of chance (favor!?).  There is an infertility awareness conference in Jacksonville on November 3rd.  To “give back” to the community, the clinics represented there are giving away 3 free IVF cycles to registered attendees.  I registered the minute I saw that!  I wonder if it’s ok to pray that I win one of them?  I guess it can’t hurt!  If that’s in the plans for me, then let it be!  Obviously, this would be awesome.  I could immediately go forward if this happened, and not only would the first cycle be free (except for the tests above), but if, God forbid, it didn’t work the first time, or I wanted to have another kid later, then the following cycles would be about 1/2 – 1/3 the cost of the first IVF because I would already have frozen embryos ready to transfer.

So, that’s the latest news.  I’d welcome any input or advice you may have to give!  I’ll be sure to keep you updated.

We’ll be traveling to Jacksonville for appointment number two next Wednesday (24th).  This appointment will be a doozie.  They told me on the phone to plan to be there for at least two hours.

This appointment will be filled with blood tests, sonograms, a certain “analysis”, and a consult with the IVF nurse coordinator.  Jay’s shaking in his boots about having to have blood drawn – I think I’m used to that part by now!

I haven’t updated about the insurance stuff lately, so here it is.  There are plans out there that will cover certain IVF medications and testing – just not for me.  Apparently I have what they call a pre-existing condition and the coverage I need and want is totally unavailable unless I want to wait another year.  I honestly can’t fathom sitting on my hands for another year while time ticks away.  So we will be paying for this out of pocket.  Thankfully, we’ve had wonderful people like you who’ve donated towards this cause – again we say thank you.  So this appointment is paid for, and we’ll just see where we go from there.

Keep praying…

~Brooke~

About the health insurance thing.  We went to State Farm Thursday to talk to them about it, and unfortunately, a call to the underwriter confirmed that their policies would not cover any testing, diagnosis, or treatment for infertility.  Bummer.

So, if anyone out there has any suggestions of an insurance company that may cover these things without a year waiting period, please let me know.  Insurance is so complicated and confusing and I feel like I’m drowning in all the information out there.  Of course I feel like if I’m honest with any company about my plans, they’ll immediately turn us down.  It’s like I’m saying, “I’d like to pay $300 a month for coverage, and, oh yeah, next month I’m going to claim over $1000 in tests, followed by $3000 in prescription drugs.”  Sort of sounds crazy to me.

Help?